


In Your Arms

by martiie



Category: Perfect Match (Visual Novel)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-26 23:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16691248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/martiie/pseuds/martiie
Summary: After rescuing Damien from Eros, Lily tries to comfort him while wrestling with her own feelings of guilt.





	In Your Arms

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Choices fic and I’m really excited to put it out into the world! I hope you guys have fun reading this :)

The room was quiet. She was sitting on the bed, back against the soft headboard, as her eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness around her. Noise from outside could only be heard dimly, an echo of a life that seemed so far removed from her reality. Someone honked on the street and another yelled something in a language she couldn’t understand yet she remained sitting, barely acknowledged it. She was far too concentrated listening to Damien’s soft breathing. His head was lying on her lap, his eyes closed. He was sleeping, seemingly soundly for now. She could imagine he didn’t have many good nights sleeps these last few weeks, not when he had been a prisoner and tortured. She couldn’t see the bruise from the slap she had witnessed via the video, not in this lighting. He was so exhausted when they entered their, his, hotel room but Lily insisted that he should take a shower, that it would do him some world of good. He didn’t protest and once he was out he didn’t tell her if she had been right or not, he simply fell on the bed, put his head on her and fell asleep. She absentmindedly played with his hair as she watched his chest rise and fall.

Left to her thoughts, she replayed the night’s events. She kept thinking about Dames, about the last conversation she had with him in their Tokyo hotel. She felt incredibly guilty that she had not been able to keep her promise, that despite their efforts he fell into the hands of the enemy. She felt even worse about the fact, and she would deny this to anyone until the day she died, that given the choice she would trade Dames for Damien without thought, regret or hesitation.

She knew she hurt Dames. It was clear every time he looked at her. The others in her group were able to see him as an individual, something separate from Damien. She imagined that they didn’t constantly miss Damien, that they were able to, unlike her, forget that Damien was missing minutes maybe even hours at a time. Every time she saw Dames, even though there were no reasonable explanations for it, for a fraction of a second she thought Damien, her Damien, had come back. And every time it wasn’t the case, which was all the time, her heart broke over again.

Damien woke with a jolt. He panickily looked around not recognizing his environment until his eyes set on Lily.

“It wasn’t a dream, right? You’re here?”

She kissed him on the forehead and passed her fingers through his hair again, trying to sooth him as much as possible.

“We’re here. Together.” A few moments passed in silence. Lily slid down on the bed and Damien moved his head away. She was now lying beside him, their faces inches apart. “I missed you so much.”

Damien took her hands in his and brought them to his lips. The corner of her lips slightly curled, enjoying the feel of his stubble on her skin. She brought her hand to caress his cheek enjoying this new sensation.

“I’m sorry for the beard.”

“I like it” she assured him, smiling, her thumb still caressing his jawline.

“You do?” His tone was a mix of surprise as well as joy. It was the most carefree she saw him as since his rescue.

He had kept quiet during the ride back, his head resting on her shoulder, refusing to make much eye contact. Later, in the hotel lobby he just responded to questions about his well being with yes and no answers as Alana dealt with the hotel administration desk.

“I didn’t get a room specifically for you. I figured you’d want to look after Damien tonight.” She handed one of the keys to Lily with a sad smile and added “If he wants to be alone, I’ll let you crash on the couch in mine.”

“Thanks Alana.” Lily answered sincerely, a little amazed at how understanding and kind she had become since first meeting her. 

If Damien asked to be alone she would grant his wish no matter how much she just wanted to hold him. But if it was Lily in Damien’s position and she had just spent weeks isolated in a cell at Eros she wouldn’t want to be left alone. Damien didn’t protest once Lily closed the door behind them and as of yet didn’t mind sharing his bed with her.

“Damien…” She tried not to think how much she wanted to kiss him and feel his beard brushing and tickling her cheeks. The sting from the rejected kiss still hurt, no matter how understandable it was given the moment. Another thought seemed to be weighing her down, her guilt making her more nauseous now that Damien was with her again. 

Lily and Damien never had the couple’s talk, mutually agreeing on postponing it to a time they would be back in their normal life in New York and never formally agreed to be exclusive. But she couldn’t help but to think about the night she unknowingly spent with Dames as a worst betrayal than if it would have been with anyone else. There was no example of a timeline of when one was supposed to come clean about this, but she imagined the sooner the better. Dames had told her that Damien would forgive her, but she didn’t want to sit on it too long. “I have to tell-”

“I slept with one of them,” Damien blurred out, taking Lily by surprise. “I mean… she just… she was you. Or that’s what I believed at the time. She came in, bursting into my room accompanied by Hayden. It turned out to be Harley, but you know… They said the others were helping you from afar thanks to Sloane’s hacking. They brought me to a safe house that she said Alana had procured. We were supposed to rendezvous with everyone else in a different place the next day. That night… we… I… And once morning came Eros walked right in, Cecile at the head. For a second, I thought Alana might have doubled crossed us again, or worst they got to Nadia and the others during the night but then Cecile typed something on her pad and you, she just shut down. That’s when I realized…” Even in the dark Lily saw Damien’s eyes glistening, his voice breaking apart in certain moments.

“Damien, I’m sorry that’s horrible. Did you… did you see her again after that?”

“Twice after that. I don’t think she realized that she wasn’t you know… Started going on how she felt, how such she missed me, how much she…”

Damien didn’t finish the sentence seemingly lost in thought. Lily took his hands in his, trying to comprehend being in such a situation that could only be describe as mental torture.

“I did too…” Lily finally a moment in silence. “Dames and me. It happened before we realized, before when we still thought we had all made out…”

Lily moved closer to Damien, pressing the side of her cheek to his chest. Last time she had been so close to him like that was in Paris when she believed they had just slept together on the Eiffel Tower. The only time they had truly been this intimate was on the train heading to Moscow. She heard just how fast his heart was beating and looked up.

“I feel so guilty.”

“Lily you have no reason to be.”

“Yes I do. I left you behind and it took me days to realize that you weren’t you. And then no matter how hard I tried to make Dames feel okay I still ended up hurting him. I kept causing him pain which killed me because he was essentially you and watching him look at me like that, watching you look at me like that knowing I was the reason behind it. But it was worse remembering that it wasn’t you because talking to him, seeing him hurt me. I think I kept letting myself forget because it just became too painful and I’m- “

“I don’t want you to blame yourself for any of it, do you understand me. I’m the one who got caught, I’m the reason Dames was with you in the first place, I’m the one who failed you-“

“Damien you-“

“I don’t want you to feel bad or guilty about it. None of it was your fault, not my capture nor Dames being with you. And I don’t care what you did. I’ll never hold it against you.”

Lily moved a little bit away from Damien, so she could look him in the eyes. She felt a stabbing sensation in her heart when she saw the hurt that was in them. And it killed her that here they were helpless, tugging the fault back and forth. It wasn’t fair to either of them. Eros was behind it all.

“I’m going to make them suffer for this. They can’t go on like this. What they do to you, to me, to Nadia… that’s just torture. They’ve mentally tortured us. All for the sake of what, research? How is this suppose to improve humanity? We can’t let them continue. When we first escaped Eros and we went into hiding… All I wanted was to hide somewhere with you and Nadia forever. Not anymore. We can’t let them continue. What’s to stop them from doing this to others. What’s to stop them from slowly kidnapping real people and replacing them with clones. After meeting Rowan, after seeing everything he and Cecile have done we can’t put this pass them. I know that you’ve just been through hell and you might want to leave this behind you and I’ll understand if you-”

“Are you crazy? I’d never leave you to deal with this alone.”

“You just lived through a nightmare. And I wouldn’t be alone, I’d still have-”

“As long as you want me by your side, I’m there. I told you once that I’d follow you to the edge of the world. That hasn’t changed, my feelings for you haven’t…” He brought his hand to her cheek, gently cupping it, his thumb caressing her. “Lily, you’re so courageous and I’ve always admired that about you. I care for you so much, more than I ever cared for anyone. I’d do anything to keep you safe. You were all I could think about when I was with Eros. I didn’t care what happened to me as long as you… as long as you were safe and happy.”

“Do you really think I’d ever have a chance of happiness without you in my life?”

“I was hoping you could. Eventually yes. After meeting the fake you, I figured, I thought they could have sent a fake me.” Lily thought of Dames and her heart clenched. I am Damien he had told her. “And part of me hoped that maybe if it meant you were safe that you’d settle into a normal life with him by your side.”

A silence filled the room as Lily pondered what Damien just said.

"Do you remember Peter?”

“Peter?” The abrupt change of subject disoriented him at first. The only Peter Damien could think of at this moment was Lily’s last boyfriend before Hayden. It made him a little uncomfortable that she was thinking of him as they were in bed and he was being vulnerable with her. He shifted, unconsciously trying to create a little bit of distance between them. He decided not to play dumb. “Your ex-boyfriend Peter? Yeah, vaguely.”

He remembered how happy they had been together and how unlike a lot of her other boyfriends he hadn’t been a complete jerk. Damien thought back to when Lily confessed that after almost a year together she was ready to move in with him, that after all these years this may be the long haul. Shortly before the move was supposed to happen they broke it off which caught him completely off guard. As a private investigator, Damien was good at reading people. He was shocked when Nadia texted him the news as he hadn’t managed to see any signs of discomfort or unhappiness between them, or any signs that people exhibit right before a break up. He brought it up eventually, his curiosity overwhelming him. He approached the issue with Nadia, trying hard to be as casual about it as he could, fear she might accuse him of harbouring feelings, which was the case. Nadia however had remained suspiciously tight lipped about the affair. Talk to Lily about it. But Lily herself, who never shied away about sharing details about her relationships with Nadia or Damien didn’t revealed much. She had been strangely okay about the break up, disproportionally so considering how much she had loved Peter.

“I never told you why we broke up have I?”

“You gave excuses without ever telling me why. I mean you’re in your rights not to tell me, you didn’t, don’t owe me an explanation.”

“He asked me to stop seeing you.”

Damien sat up brusquely. He went by his interactions with Peter in the weeks leading up to the breakup quickly in his head, thinking if there was something that he said that Peter would have interpreted the wrong way, guilty that he had been the reason.

“I don’t… Why?”

“He correctly guessed that I had feelings for you. I never admitted this to him, but he was right. He didn’t so much want me to cut you out of my life, but he did say he was uncomfortable with me spending time alone with you. He gave me a choice: I could either stay with him and see you under his conditions or I could leave him.”

“You chose me? You…” Damien remembered sitting across a bar table from Lily and Peter. Lily grinning so wildly as she looked at Peter. “You loved him.“

"Of course I chose you Damien. I may have loved him but not nearly… He could’ve fallen out of love with me at any moment, but I knew you’d never leave me. Even if back then I believed you’d never reciprocate any romantic feelings for me… I didn’t want to change one single aspect of our friendship.” Lily sat up and touched his face. “Even if I didn’t get to see you one day, I knew I would see you tomorrow or if not the day after that because someone we fell into a routine that going three days without seeing each other was unnatural. Not a day went by that I didn’t know when was the next time I would see you. Up until a few weeks ago in Paris when I realized that you weren’t there. It killed me, Damien, not knowing when or worst if I would be with you again.”

Damien, speechless, brought his face closer to hers. He slowly approached his lips to her, giving her plenty of time to back away, to reject the kiss if she didn’t want to continue. She accepted the kiss and responded in kind, bringing her hands at the back of his neck to steady herself. She brought herself closer to him and in his weakened state Damien wasn’t able to hold her weigh so he laid down on his back, his arms around her waist bringing her down on him. They continued kissing, deepening the intensity. They continued for a while like this, as his hands glided up and down her thighs to her lower back, enjoying the feel of her wondering lips, now kissing him on his neck. He felt as she started to tug on his shirt, lost in the moment.

“Would it be okay…” Damien whispered, out of breath and softly. Lily stopped and straightened up, waiting for Damien to finish his sentence. “Would it be alright If I just held you tonight? It’s just that with…”

Lily immediately got off him thinking back on a similar thing he once told her. I know this is the sappiest thing ever, but I just want to hold you. No matter how much she wanted Damien there was something good about being wanted for more than just sex. The fact that he wanted her presence more than her body made him that much dearer to her. As she laid on her side, facing him he put his head on her upper chest, kissing her shoulder a last time, a sign of thanks.

“This is so nice. I could spend every night like this.”

“Me too,” she smiled as he felt him snuggling her neck, his beard tickling her. She kissed him on the top of his head, smelling the hotel shampoo he had used earlier. “Nothing is stopping us from doing so.”

Damien looked up and met her eyes. Lily saw something in them that she had seen just once before, as they sat on a large boulder under a sky full of stars. She saw true vulnerability in them.

“You’d have me every night Lily?”

“Without a doubt.”

Soon after Lily felt herself become more and more sleepy, the last of today’s adrenaline finally leaving her body. As Damien’s soft breathing filled the room once more, she felt herself lulled into the best sleep in over a month, Damien safe in her arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it! If you did don't hesitate to comment :)  
> Also you can find me on my tumblr stormholtnoble.tumblr.com, come say hi!


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